Stop mind control dead with TINFOILER ZERO
HAARP got you down? No more!
ELF detuning your DNA? Fret not!
Dishwasher giving you conflicting commands RE what to do about it all, finally? SHOW THEM WHO’S BOSS.
Yes. Once and for all the TINFOILER ZERO promises transcendence, liberty, AND freedom all in one attractive package, complete with comfort-inducing chin strap. Simply apply the TINFOILER ZERO, adjust, and enjoy the soothing wavelengths YOU CHOOSE to groove against authority. The built in oscillators, amplifier, filter, and FREEDOM FEEDBACK SYSTEM take care of the rest, effortlessly! Tired of the door-to-door harangue from itinerant pastafarians? They and all their ilk shall have no choice but to cower and bow before superior logic whenever the bearer of TINFOILER ZERO answers their call in the mother and father of all strainers in one, all across the land, for a thousand years.